Don't you let your demons pull you down
'cause you can have it all
you can have it all
This second year, especially this semester, I've started to move with my own pace without any worries.
Instead of sitting there, regretting the mistakes and stupid things I've done before, I finally managed to pick up the courage and say hello to the positive world.
I am finally walking down the State Street with my head looking forward, not staring at my orange shoelace anymore.
I can finally move my mouth to say hello to other people, to ask them how they've been doing, and to let my voice be heard.
I no longer feel nervous going to places I've never been to before, and I no longer stutter whenever I need to meet new people.
And it's not like I'm great whatsoever.
It's just a matter of mindset.
Positiveness. Optimism. Self-assurance.
You don't have to be "budak pandai" to be positive. You don't have to get your name on the dean list to be optimistic.
It IS hard to change the way you view the world in a matter of days. It took me 21 years to finally realise that I can actually do this.
Really. I'm not a genius or smart or whatever.
All I've done is that I've stopped blaming myself. I've started to appreciate myself more than I've ever done before.
If things start to get serabut between me and other people, I'd stop, ponder on things for a moment, and try to do my part.
But when the other party is ignoring, or making things more complicated, I'm telling you:
I won't wait. I simply will not.
I'd do my part and move on.
---
But you know what?
No matter how much I want to move on, some things don't change.
Or at least they haven't.
I still have some people that I've to take care of, even when I'm far away.
I still have my own responsibility towards some people who are hundreds miles away from me.
Many times I wish I can be there for them. Many times I wish I'm right there beside them.
Sometimes I wish those tears don't belong to them.
---
Lately my posts are full of Take That's stuff. Can I just wish that Gary Barlow is my personal counselor? I'll let him sing to me and play the piano anytime he wants to. That'd make my days. Lolll. :P
So come on, so come on, get it on
Don't know what you're waiting for
Your time is coming, don't be late
Hey hey!

