and then it hit me

I'm already at this point where I feel like I want to leave.

3 months ago I was scared of what's going to happen but now I just don't care anymore.

senyum

...tak perlu kata apa-apa

KL Gangster

T_T

Uhh kepada sesiapa yang tak tahu (tapi aku assume semua orang tahu la kot), aku mempunyai kulit yang sangat sensitif. Bukan saje kulit muka malah kulit anggota badan yang lain.

Masa cuaca extremely kering ni, kulit aku jadi 10 kali ganda lebih sensitif... terutamanya kulit tangan aku. Pantang langgar apa je, kuat ke tak, confirm lebam atau luka T_T

Tangan kiri aku dah calar balar macam gengster dah T_T bila dan di mana tangan aku terhantuk/ tergores pun aku langsung tak perasan... tahu2 je dah pedih dan luka T_T

T_T

Rasa macam ada Invisible Wolverine yang dok cakar2 tangan aku ni T_T

Godzilla

Sakit gigi. Gusi bengkak. Tak cukup duit nak jumpa dentist. Can it be worse? -_-

Sakit yang paling sakit adalah mati. Lepas tu beranak. Lepas tu sakit gigi. =_=

Lepas tu ada petanda-petanda tak baik lagi.

1.
Rasa emo gile bila tak dapat jawab exam.

2.
Bila ada orang lain kerja sama shift dengan kau you should feel relieved sebab tak payah susah-susah buat banyak kerja tapi sebaliknya emo lagi.

3.
Rasa emo lagi bila tak dapat jawab soalan homework.

4.
Rasa emo bila terasa diri kurang diberi perhatian oleh supervisor (padahal ada je diorang tegur).

5.
Rasa emo bila tak dapat cari extra shift untuk weekend ni.

6.
Bila lapar and find out there's no heavy meal to eat (atau baru habiskan makanan terakhir tengahari tadi), kau rasa emo lagi.

7.
Bila orang usik/gurau sikit je pun kau dah rasa sensitif, rasa nak emo, kadang-kadang mata berair tak pasal-pasal.

8.
Kau jadi emo bila orang yang selama ni kau tak kisah pun kalau dia tak reply kat YM sebab dia tengah busy study tapi kali ni tiba-tiba kau rasa macam nak penyepak orang tu.

9.
Kau happy plus angau bila tengok video Gary Barlow main piano sambil nyanyi lagu Nobody Else best gile youwishhewassingingitforyousigh tapi kau emo bila kau realise dia dah umur 40 dan dah kahwin dan dah ada anak tiga orang dan realise the fact yang "WHO THE HECK ARE YOU TO GARY ANYWAY??".

10.
Pendek kata kau rasa emo kat semua benda.

11.
Oh ye LEPAS TU KAU BERTAMBAH SEPULUH KALI GANDA LEBIH EMO BILA KAU PUNYA PORTABLE HEATER BUAT BUNYI BISING GILE MACAM KILANG BUAT BESI AND YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SLEEP IN THE COLD.

These symptoms will last for a few days, sometimes even for the whole week.

Oh I'm only human. Duh.

I guess this is just a part of being a woman...

Sensitif. Perempuan memang sensitif.

Bencinya. I wish I could keep myself busy. I don't want to think about it.

Sensitif sangat la aku ni.

Ahh bencinya. Benci.

Aku matang dan rasional.

Tapi bila sampai kepada soal hati, aku still rasa sensitif.

Tambah-tambah bila orang dok tanya-tanya aku balik ke tak. Bukannya nak faham situasi aku.

Aku belajar kat US, bukan kat Seremban dah.

Tsk

Dear CheapTickets Customer,

Thank you for contacting CheapTickets.

I understand you flight reservation was not booked and your card has been charged.

I apologize for the inconvenience you have encountered.

Because this issue may involve sensitive credit card information, a phone call is the best method for helping you resolve this question. Please call CheapTickets Customer Service at (888) 922-8849 from the US and (312) 596-5786 from outside the US. Our Customer Service Agents will be happy to assist you.


Thanks,

Ronnie Bowman
The CheapTickets Email Service Team

CheapTickets - The less you pay the better it feels
www.CheapTickets.com

---

Thank Allah for the reply. Do you know how much they charge me?

FOUR website service charges which cost $6.99 EACH, and a ticket which costs $1196.30.

And I don't even GET the ticket. Or confirmation e-mail whatsoever.

I'll never use that website again. Ever. NEVER EVER EVER. Nearly lost me head yesterday. I was too angry! D:<

PS: But my previous post has nothing to do with this incident anyway.

---

Update: Sorry for the incomplete post. To clear up the confusion, no, I didn't get the ticket. But I was relieved when the customer service replied my e-mail because if they did not, there might be no way I will get my money back. I gave the customer service a call and blablabla after a very long explanation which involved the UW Credit Union (the bank), I finally managed to get my money back. And I'm not interested to use cheaptickets.com again...

Apa ni?

"Kita tengah belajar FM ke, belajar Confucianism?"

Haizz

Pos ni vain. Tak payah baca kalau tak berminat.

Rasanya macam jarang tulis "diari kehidupan" kat sini. Haha.

Tapi saje la. Menggedik nak mengadu.

At the moment, sangat sangat sangat sangat banyak benda yang bermain di fikiran.

Banyaaaaak sangat. Sampai tak tahu nak fikir mana satu dulu. Haha.

Lepas satu benda, satu lagi benda tak settle. Lepas satu, satu. Lepas tu ada lagi. Dan lagi.

Haizz.

Tahulah semua orang berkemungkinan menghadapi perkara yang sama.

Tapi aku nak mengeluh jugak.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah urusan hamba-Mu ini.

Eight Letters

Eight letters
Three words
One meaning

♥








I'm trying to sound cheerful. Duh.

Winter Song

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon,
it rolls in from the sea

My voice; a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light,
to carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

They say that things just cannot grow
beneath the winter snow,
or so I have been told.

They say were buried far,
just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
cause youre not where you belong;
inside my arms.

I still believe in summer days.
The seasons always change
and life will find a way.

Ill be your harvester of light
and send it out tonight
so we can start again.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

This is my winter song.
December never felt so wrong,
cause youre not where you belong;
inside my arms.

This is my winter song to you.
The storm is coming soon
it rolls in from the sea.

My love a beacon in the night.
My words will be your light
to carry you to me.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

Sara Bareilles
Winter Song

10 thousand light years away

Oh.. how I love this song. One of my all-time favourites.



I still remember how I melted at Nicky and Kian's voices. ^^

And how deep the lyrics are when Mark sings his part.

And how excited I was to listen to Shane's oh-so-comel part. (the "oh-woah" part, lol)

And the fact that Bryan doesn't have his solo lines in this song HAHAHA.

The vocal arrangement is excellent, the words are meaningful, the harmonies are perfect. And the looks are so young and comel, haha. Typical Westlife classic (ie. singing ballad on stools, standing up after the key-change, lolll).

The verses and the bridge suit my mood at the moment.

Soundless

My day is your night
It's the difference in the time zone
Spare me the never-ending jet lag
It aches my heart right to the core

We're one thousand light years apart
When one step closer's taken
one heart's gonna get broken

This frown you cause
will never fade away
What a frustration!
Of all the lessons learned
the numbers will never fit in your formula

The red sky is raining
endlessly
But still, unseen
'cause you're inside the building


- Ainina Rosman

Caught in the middle

Assalamualaikum.

Reminds me of my all-time favourite song by a1. Lol.

But seriously. I AM caught in the middle.

Hm.

-_-

If a song could get me you

Assalamualaikum

-

Dudududu

You don't have Kian's bluest eyes
Your charm is nothing like Shane's
You're not as hot as Nicky either
And you lack Mark's soulful voice

...but I still like you

Oh. I'll have to pen another song for this one.

Macamlah pandai sangat pun buat lagu. Tch.

-

Sekolah nak buka dah. Setiap kali nak buka sekolah mesti ada perasaan keliru.

Oh Tuhanku.

-

Dengar cerita University of Wisconsin-Madison is no longer a top university.

Aku ke yang jatuhkan rank university? Haha. Hebat betul penangan aku.

Offended gila.

-

Tahu tak, sometimes there are things better left unsaid.

There are things better kept inside.

-

I'm so in love with them, everything about them is so comel to me. They bring out the child in me.

I feel so young loving them bah!

I'm obsessed like I used to be when I was 12 (and now I'm 21).

Adakah angka satu dan dua itu yang menambah parah?

I hope school's gonna distract me a bit from them.

-

Kita tak boleh simpan kuku panjang sebab nanti ada E.Coli.

Kalau kuku kita kuku besi, boleh la kan?

Lolololollll. :))

-

Please note the label for this post: ROJAK.

Na suan le...

Mungkin saya perlu melupakan perkara itu buat seketika.

Mungkin saya perlu terima hakikat bahawa Dia lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk saya.

Saya benci perasaan ini. :(

Kau tahu apa?!!

Assalamualaikum.

Biasanya kita akan menghakimi seseorang berdasarkan apa yang kita nampak pada zahirnya. Kalau kita suka apa yang kita nampak, kita akan judge benda tu positif. Kalau tak suka, kita mengutuk dalam hati. Macam tu la.

Saja nak kaitkan apa yang kita pandang, apa yang kita analisa dari pandangan mata itu, dan hakikat sebenar yang kita mungkin tak nampak. Aku nak fokus kat pemakaian kita sebagai orang Islam. Orang Islam yang setiap hari mengaku tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah, dan Muhammad itu adalah pesuruh-Nya.

Ok. Kalau kita nampak perempuan Muslim tak pakai tudung contohnya. Confirm kita dah ada satu pandangan negatif atau pandangan steoreotaip terhadap perempuan tersebut. Kan? Macam-macamlah kita fikir pasal dia. One thought leads to another.

Tak pakai tudung... solatkah dia? Jaga pergaulankah dia? Ilmu agamanya dalamkah? Pemakanannya dijagakah? Blablabla.

Biasa la tu. Kadang-kadang kita yang terlebih buruk sangka. Dah nama pun manusia, senang sangat nak nampak keburukan manusia lain. Bila orang tu buat baik, tak ada pun kita nak kecoh-kecoh. Dia senyum kat kita sepuluh kali seminit, kita tak perasan. Dia termarah kita sekali je sepanjang kita kenal dia, confirm kita ingat sampai mati.

Ok. Berbalik kepada isu "judge a book by its cover" tadi. Atau patut aku kata, "judge a person's level of iman by his/her appearance". Salah ke kita judge orang tu "baik atau tidak" berdasarkan luarannya? Dan patut ke orang judge kita macam tu?

"Weh, kau tahu apa? Kau nampak je aku macam ni, tapi dalaman aku Tuhan je yang tahu. Iman aku, Allah je yang nampak. Kita kan manusia, iman boleh naik dan turun. Kau tak boleh tengok aku luaran je."

"Bab-bab pahala dosa ni kan semua kerja Allah. Tak payah la kau sibuk-sibuk nak tuduh aku tak beriman ke apa ke."

"Kau pakai tudung, tak semestinya kau lagi beriman dari aku. Kau pakai seluar panjang, tak semestinya kau lagi beriman dari aku."

Nah. Betul ke macam tu?

Dosa pahala kerja Allah, ok. Tapi Allah senang-senang ke nak bagi dosa pahala? Main campak-campak sajakah?

Beriman atau tidak, itu Allah yang nampak, ok. Tapi apa indikatornya?

Ni yang kita nak kena cek balik.

Since aku fokus pada isu pemakaian (a.k.a menutup aurat), aku nak cite apa yang saudara Hilal Asyraf pernah sebut dalam salah satu blog posts nya: (tak ingat exact phrase)

"Memang orang yang berjubah itu tidak semestinya lebih baik dari orang yang memakai jeans. Memang orang yang tudung labuh itu tidak semestinya lebih baik dari orang yang tak bertudung. Memang betul, kita tak boleh cakap orang tu beriman atau tidak berdasarkan apa yang dipakainya. Tapi ingat, iman itu ada tandanya."

I like that one. IMAN ITU ADA TANDANYA.

Kita mengaku kita sembah Allah, dan menutup aurat adalah suruhan Allah. Kalau tak tutup aurat, maknanya kita tak ikut suruhan Allah. Kalau tak ikut suruhan Allah, macam mana nak cakap kita beriman? Layak ke kita terang-terangan cakap "tahap iman aku Allah je yang nampak"?

Jadi kalau ada manusia yang menghakimi kita sebab kita tak buat apa yang disuruh, kita tak boleh nak suka-suka hati marah depa, sebab benda tu dah jelas tak boleh buat. Tak susah pun nak fikir. Tak boleh la nak kata depa fikiran sempit, depa stereotaip, depa bersangka buruk, depa ingat depa lebih baik. Sebelum kita kutuk siapa-siapa yang kita label stereotaip atau buruk sangka, ceklah dulu betul ke tak apa yang depa cakap.

Benda macam ni dah jelas. Allah yang ciptakan kau, jadi Dia lagi tahu apa tujuan Dia suruh kau ikut cakap Dia. UNLESS kau nak berfikiran ala-ala Theory of Knowledge/ Philosophy/ Psychology/ Ethics whatever dan persoalkan kenapa Tuhan suruh kau ikut cakap Dia, itu kes lain dah. Itu kes aqidah/ pegangan/ kepercayaan kau. Itu kes hati kau. Itu kes ego kau. Bukan kes stereotaip dah.

...Maka ketika mereka menyeleweng (dari kebenaran yang mereka sedia mengetahuinya), Allah selewengkan hati mereka (dari mendapat hidayah petunjuk); dan sememangnya Allah tidak memberi hidayah petunjuk kepada kaum yang fasik - derhaka. (as-Saff: 5)

Na'uzubillahi minzalik. Semoga Allah memelihara hati kita semua.

Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau memesongkan hati kami sesudah Engkau beri petunjuk kepada kami, dan kurniakanlah kepada kami limpah rahmat dari sisiMu; sesungguhnya Engkau jualah Tuhan Yang melimpah-limpah pemberianNya. (al'i-Imran: 8)

Amin.



PS: Suka tahu kenapa Islam itu agama yang relevan sepanjang masa, sempurna, dan logik diterima. Jadi post ni mengingatkan diri ni sendiri supaya jangan poyo sangat nak persoalkan segala benda yang mungkin berbunyi riak dan takabbur.

PS2: Ya Allah, janganlah kau palingkan hatiku dari-Mu, ya Allah. Penulisanku ini hanya untuk mengingatkan diriku sendiri dan sahabat yang lain, ya Allah.

Talk Me Down II

...'cause we fought an endless war
'til we forgot what we were fighting for
now we can't stop
but we can withdraw
in the long night

Parody

Assalamualaikum.

Original version:

When I am down and oh my soul's so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
And I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit a while with me

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

(Westlife/ Josh Groban/ Secret Garden/ siapa2 yang pernah nyanyi)

New version:

When I am down and oh my soul's so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
At once I know the reason why I feel these
It's when you come and sit a while with me

You stress me out, I feel like strangling you to death
You stress me out, the tense is built up in me
I am strong when you're far away from me
You stress me out to more than I can bear

You stress me out, I feel like strangling you to death
You stress me out, the tense is built up in me
I am strong when you're far away from me
You stress me out to more than I can bear

You stress me out, I feel like strangling you to death
You stress me out, the tense is built up in me
I am strong when you're far away from me
You stress me out to more than I can bear

(belum ada orang nyanyi lagi. haha)

Sila klik lagu You Raise Me Up di sebelah kanan post ini dan mari kita menyanyikannya bersama-sama :)

"YOU STRESS ME OUT"

Out now in stores.



PS: Aku dah remove link lagu, malangnya tak dapat kita berkaraoke bersama-sama.