Snow White

Assalamualaikum.

Hari ni tiba-tiba nak buat satu confession.

Lol ayat sangat controversial.

Anyway here goes.

I think I've got a crush on...














nah.

Saja nak buat korang tertanya-tanya. Haha.

Bukan confess pasal cintan cintun la.

Confession sebenar ialah...







I think that walking in the snow is one of the best un-describable feelings.

Ever.

Ni datang dari lubuk hati ni. Haha.

(tak tahu perkataan sesuai la nak letak. undescribable is not even a word. lol.)

Mula-mula nak simpan je dalam hati. Tapi tadi Farah cakap "ala rugi tadi tak bawak camera". Lepas tu nampak status Fb Lei Kheng pasal snow jugak. Aku jadi lebih tersentuh.

Subhanallah.

Maha suci Allah yang menciptakan dunia dan segala isinya. :)




Update: Anyway, the correct word is INDESCRIBABLE. Haha. Nama je belajar US. Perkataan tu pun tak tahu. Hahahahaha.

Sigh

Assalamualaikum.

Laptop berbunyi menyebabkan tak ada mood nak buat homework. (Alasan je tu)

Aku rasa macam nak suruh sem ni cepat berakhir.

Pertama sebab aku nak balik kampung.

Kedua sebab aku nak pindah rumah baru.

Ketiga sebab aku dah tak nak tengok dia dalam kelas. Lol. Ni bukan jahat. Ni untuk kebaikan aku. Lol lol lolololololllll.




PS: kenapa kebelakangan ni banyak post aku yang remeh temeh? korang pulak rajin baca. padahal takde apa pun. terima kasih la sudi membaca karutan hamba yang ntah apa2 ni.

Salji Turun Lagi

..random thoughts..

1. I don't know what on earth is wrong with my laptop.

2. Two days without nasi and I feel like I've lost half of my weight. Aku tak faham macam mana orang Melayu diet tak makan nasi semata-mata nak kurus. And no, I'm NOT on a diet.

3. Aku dah mula rasa kepenatan sem ni.

4. Ada beberapa orang tanya kenapa aku tak pergi ISR kat Iowa. So let me tell you here. Aku ada exam hari Isnin tu.

5. Sometimes I think I love math. Sometimes I think I loathe math. Sometimes I think math is the only thing that I can do. Sometimes I think math is the only thing I cannot do. Kecelaruan pemikiran.

6. I don't understand why people can be so much in love in one day, argue like nak mati the next day, make up the next day, fight the next day, make up again... don't you ever get tired of it? (aku cakap ni secara umum je)

7. It feels tiring to be sick and to sleep in the bed for the whole day. And now I'll be having problems to fix my bedtime again.

8. Aku tak beberapa faham sama ada patut ke tak aku sign petition untuk buat "prayer room" tu. Boleh ke main campur-campur je? Mula-mula ingat ok la nak ada tempat solat, tapi bila tahu untuk orang agama lain 'sembahyang' jugak, aku jadi keliru. Macam mana tu? It's not like I'm not supporting MSA. I'm just CONFUSED. Get me?

9. Ok. Kau buat silap. Lepas tu orang tegur kau baik-baik. Lepas tu kau ban orang tu dalam hidup kau terus.

10. Budak-budak jangan masuk campur urusan orang tua. Orang tua pun jangan masuk campur urusan budak-budak. Lol.

The Easy Way

I love youuuu Mak I love youuuu Ayah :D

Insya-Allah saya belajar rajin-rajin :D




PS: happy tak post ni? haha.

Sleep Disorder

Assalamualaikum.

Orang kata kalau mimpi buruk, jangan cerita kat orang lain.

Ok, at least I'm not telling anyone what exactly the nightmare was about.

But I guess it was so sad, so depressing, so heart-breaking that I woke up with tears streaming down my cheek.

Astaghfirullahal'azim.

I wanna go home so bad.



PS: hoho I'm turning into a frequent, depressed blogger :P no i'm not depressed... i'm just "ala biasalah perempuan" -_-

Apabila...

Assalamualaikum.

"Laoshi!" I called my teacher.

"Yes?" she replied, quickly looking at me.

I was about to say 'Gong Xi Fa Cai' when I changed my mind on the last second before my mouth spoke:

"Um, happy Chinese New Year!"

"Oh! Thank you very much!"

And she gave me this wide, sincere, happy smile. Honestly, it was quite some time since I last saw someone giving me a genuine smile like that.

So it was true what other people said: a smile can brighten up another person's day.

Well, at least for me, the school hours ended quite happily today.

But... something's been bothering me lately, and I don't even know what on earth it is.

Dua tiga hari ni my mood is fluctuating like hell.

I mean it. Like hell.

Ok, maybe it wasn't exactly dua tiga hari. I think it's been the whole week.

Sigh.

Mengapa kah?

Kerana ada orang bertanya kenapa kena pakai tudung kah?

Kerana aku tak jujur dengan instructor kah?

Kerana aku selalu lapar sangat kah?

Kerana PMS kah?

Kerana aku tak mampu nak bersabar kah?

Kerana sink dan bath tub selalu tersumbat kah?

Kerana dia kah?

Sigh. This morning I ended up sitting at a different place because I didn't want to be near that person.

And I felt so stupid about it.

Kenapa aku rasa makin hari tempat duduk dia makin dekat?

Atau dengan kata lainnya, ada orang lain yang duduk tempat aku atau tempat dia, yang menyebabkan aku kena duduk dekat dengan dia.

Seriously.

The first day of class, tempat duduk dia was like 7 or 8 chairs away from me.

Dan tadi kalau aku tak pindah tempat, aku sebenarnya duduk sebelah dia!

Dah la kerusi yang kat bucu meja. Kalau sebelah tu aku tahan lagi.

Pergi main jauh-jauhlahhh!

You are torturing me.

Aku tak suka perasaan itu.

Sigh.

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku. Akulah hamba-Mu yang lemah.

T-T

... atau mungkin kerana post hari tu aku cakap besar kah? T-T




PS: "Why do you wear it here? *pointing at my tudung* Your parents are not here!"

Saat Terindah

guess who's back!

new album's coming up this june.

they're even planning to make a re-record of Permata Ayah Bonda.
(wujud ke perkataan tu? huhu)

OMT. (oh my Tuhan)

can't waittttt. :DDD

Buat Nina

Assalamualaikum.

Buat Nina,

"Love is not about
finding the right person
but creating the right relationship.
It's not how much love you have
in the beginning,
but how much you build
till the end
and the faith to believe
it is possible."

i.

It all seems like yesterday.
But I didn't want to shed the welled up tears.
Instead, I let the pain remains there.

It's ironic how hard you'll have to strive to get something.
Yet it can be taken away from you in no time.

You can feel happy now and then.
But you won't have the power to decide what's going to happen next.

After all this time, I think I've been tested enough,
I think I've gone through too much that nobody will ever understand how I feel,
but I've forgotten the ones who'd gone through way, way too much than I am.

I'm ashamed to admit how selfish I can be at times
and how determined I am when it comes to blaming others.

ii.

And the idea about love, well...
I'm still going through a phase where I think I can never love a guy again
because I hate the word marriage.

And of course, I have some reasons for that.
Some personal reasons I won't bother telling anyone about.

But at least I still know
if he's somewhere out there,
and if it's meant to be,
he'll still be there for me to take care of me,
and to lead me closer to God.

I don't want to go out looking for him.
I've had enough of stupid fake crushes.

I wouldn't want to wait either.
It's either it happens or it doesn't.
Prince Charming doesn't exist for me.
But I do believe there's someone called "Mr Imperfect".

iii.

Life is too short.

Yesterday I was confused about what should I do in the future.
And how am I going to lead this life.
And where should I head to, where my direction is supposed to be.
Now and then I'd be thinking of the same thing again and again.

But in the end, I realise there'll be only one place left for everyone.





PS: Terima kasih, Aimi...

Mobile

Assalamualaikum.

I used to think I couldn't live without my mobile phone. My mobile is my telephone, my short-message-system medium, my camera, my video recorder, my mp3 player, my alternative USB, and sometimes my internet. I don't own any Blackberry or any other super brand models, but I love my Nokia.

At the moment I own two of them; one is for my Malaysia number and the other one for my US number. I mean it's not like it's a weird thing for people to own more than one handphone at the same time, but it's something I'd never thought I would definitely have. I don't have that many friends who would call or text me, so there's no reason why I should own more than one. But I had the thought that my friends back in my country might want to keep in touch with me by sending text messages to me (because not all of my friends have Facebook or even Internet access at their homes), so I decided to have two for my own convenience.

And so I have to frequently recharge and carry these two phones wherever I go. Sometimes I end up looking pretty stupid because both of them would run out of battery. There isn't really any point in carrying two battery-less phones, though. Eventually, I left my Malaysia number at home whenever I go out. I only carry my US number with me.

However, I kind of notice that I don't really text or call people. There are only a few frequent contacts in my list who I'd text or call sometimes, but that's it. My US phone is useless. There's only a 1.3 megapixel camera, pathetic video recorder, and super limited memory storage. There isn't even any games to play with. And the most pathetic thing is that I couldn't make the mp3 I transferred into the phone as my alarm clock or my ringing tone because "the size is too big". It's like, a phone plainly for texting and calling. In the end I can't really blame the phone because it's a free one when I registered my US number!

I refused to insert my US sim card into my Nokia because I have some sentimental values for both the Nokia and my Malaysia number. Well, I did try it once, you know. I exchanged the sim cards so that my US sim card goes into my Nokia, and my Malaysia sim card goes into the "lovely" Samsung. Unfortunately, the Samsung wouldn't accept my Malaysia sim card - it only accepts the sim card it was registered for, which is my US number.

I tried to bring and recharge my Samsung as much as I could, but after some time later I feel so malas. Well, I normally contact people here using Facebook or YM. So that gives me another reason why I don't really use my handphone.

The other day, I received some spam calls from Tuhan-knows-who. I get pretty annoyed because there were 5 to 6 calls per day, and whenever I answer it, nobody but a machine answers it. So I left the phone vibrating each time the call comes in, and let the phone runs out of battery by itself.

Today I no longer bring my US phone when I go out. Instead, I bring my Malaysia phone, not to contact people, but to listen to the mp3 player!

In fact, I think my US phone has gone dead without battery for almost two weeks now!

So, to any of you who couldn't reach me, faham-faham jela. Insya-Allah I'll recharge the phone after this, haha.

Sekadar Bebelan

Assalamualaikum.

I had a chat with my English classmate. A Malaysian Chinese. I get excited telling him that I'm taking Chinese lesson this semester, "at the moment we're still learning the Pinyin system!" and he went, "oh, I don't know Chinese". Buat malu je excited macam kanak-kanak.

I had sikit nasi for breakfast (sebelum kelas English). And the result was? I fell asleep in the Math Library when everybody else around me was busy burying their faces in some books. Padahal kat riba siap ada buku, bajet study la konon. Confirm kepala aku terlentok beribu kali macam orang tak cukup tidur (padahal cukup je). Kesimpulan: jangan makan nasi pagi-pagi buta, nanti mengantuk. Oh, and don't shower using hot water in the morning. Nanti lagi mengantuk.

Change in venue for Chinese class. Jalan punya jalan last sekali baru jumpa. Punyalah tawaf first floor tu macam apa. Dah la masa kelas blur gila. Berjuta kali cikgu ulang perkataan sama tu pun aku tak dapat tangkap.

Kelas Psychology. Apsal aku rasa budak-budak ni tak bersemangat pun berbanding sem lepas. Huhu. Henriques cakap contoh sama. Aku pulak hampir terlentok kat belakang.

Balik tu, bajet nak pergi Capitol Market. Jalan punya jalan. I wasn't wearing glasses, and suddenly I got LOST. Aku tak ingat kena ambil jalan yang mana! Ya Allah, punyalah berjuta kali pergi Capitol tu. Disebabkan malas nak ambil spek dalam beg, aku jalan balik rumah. Cis. Nasib baik dah nak maghrib masa tu, kalau tak confirm aku rayau jugak.

My head was aching like mad when I reached home. If my mum ever knew this she's going to bising about how important it is NOT to let my stomach grumbling for food. (I had classes from 9.50am until 3.45pm, and I didn't eat anything within that period) "Jangan biar perut kosong nanti angin la blablabla..." It's weird because other people only burp when they have this angin thingy, but if I get that angin I don't only burp; my head feels like it's going to explode.

By the way aku ada baca beberapa blog. Tak mahu cakap la depa cakap pasal apa. Tapi I just want to tell them that I've been living like THIS for 20 years so don't expect me to change in a blink of an eye. You didn't grow up in the same environment like I did, so shut up. Childhood experience, family background, semua tak sama (tak caya tanya Henriques). Jadi jangan la tulis benda yang berat sebelah. (Blog tu tak cakap directly pasal aku pun. Tapi saje menggatal tiba-tiba nak terasa. Haha.)

I've started loving my daily schedule now. I wake up early and sleep early. And I'm surprised that it feels really good. My days feel longer, healthier and more organized. I even feel happier and more energetic than I used to be. Everything seems to be running more smoothly than before, and hopefully this will continue until the end of this semester, dan harap sampai bila-bila. Seems like the warning letter from Mara has given me a real slap in the face lol. Harap-harap semua kesalahan dapat ditebus semula. Banyak benda yang menginsafkan terjadi, and I realised I haven't worked to my optimum level yet. I know I can do this. I trust Ar-Ra'd: 11!

Ohhhhhh and "Reach Out" is going to be Westlife's next single! OH MY TUHAN I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE VIDEO.

...

Ok. Seriously aku rasa sangat VAIN tulis post macam ni. THAT'S WHY I'VE NEVER WRITTEN ANY DIARY-LIKE POST BECAUSE I KNOW NOBODY'S GOING TO BE INTERESTED TO READ. LOL. ("lol"? I used to hate that word so much) Dah la there's a lot of exclamation marks "!!!!!!!" Excited macam kanak-kanak tak matang. Vain macam apa.

Okay, so I might've written something like this before, tapi jarang ok. This one might be one of those rare meaningless posts in this blog. Not saying there are a lot of so-called meaningful posts pun! Just so you know I don't really like writing a post like this. Don't ask me, I don't know why, haha.