Apabila...

Assalamualaikum.

"Laoshi!" I called my teacher.

"Yes?" she replied, quickly looking at me.

I was about to say 'Gong Xi Fa Cai' when I changed my mind on the last second before my mouth spoke:

"Um, happy Chinese New Year!"

"Oh! Thank you very much!"

And she gave me this wide, sincere, happy smile. Honestly, it was quite some time since I last saw someone giving me a genuine smile like that.

So it was true what other people said: a smile can brighten up another person's day.

Well, at least for me, the school hours ended quite happily today.

But... something's been bothering me lately, and I don't even know what on earth it is.

Dua tiga hari ni my mood is fluctuating like hell.

I mean it. Like hell.

Ok, maybe it wasn't exactly dua tiga hari. I think it's been the whole week.

Sigh.

Mengapa kah?

Kerana ada orang bertanya kenapa kena pakai tudung kah?

Kerana aku tak jujur dengan instructor kah?

Kerana aku selalu lapar sangat kah?

Kerana PMS kah?

Kerana aku tak mampu nak bersabar kah?

Kerana sink dan bath tub selalu tersumbat kah?

Kerana dia kah?

Sigh. This morning I ended up sitting at a different place because I didn't want to be near that person.

And I felt so stupid about it.

Kenapa aku rasa makin hari tempat duduk dia makin dekat?

Atau dengan kata lainnya, ada orang lain yang duduk tempat aku atau tempat dia, yang menyebabkan aku kena duduk dekat dengan dia.

Seriously.

The first day of class, tempat duduk dia was like 7 or 8 chairs away from me.

Dan tadi kalau aku tak pindah tempat, aku sebenarnya duduk sebelah dia!

Dah la kerusi yang kat bucu meja. Kalau sebelah tu aku tahan lagi.

Pergi main jauh-jauhlahhh!

You are torturing me.

Aku tak suka perasaan itu.

Sigh.

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku. Akulah hamba-Mu yang lemah.

T-T

... atau mungkin kerana post hari tu aku cakap besar kah? T-T




PS: "Why do you wear it here? *pointing at my tudung* Your parents are not here!"