Monday, April 21, 2014

overrated

i'm at this peak where i couldn't see any flaws
the world surrounding me would fade away when i look into those eyes
and i could still feel the presence lingers around me

people say it's overrated
but not for me, not at this point
not anymore

Friday, April 4, 2014

and then it hit me

I'm already at this point where I feel like I want to leave.

3 months ago I was scared of what's going to happen but now I just don't care anymore.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

one step closer

when I look at you,

I remember why we could hold on to each other for so long

Monday, February 17, 2014

dear you

I'm unsure of how I'm feeling for the past week.

But all I'm certain about is my dua for you.

I hope Allah grants you strength to face it all.

I've tasted 5% of the despair years ago and I couldn't imagine how it's like for you.

Please know I want to be there for you no matter what.

From Allah we came and to Him we shall return.

---

Hello.

You might not be reading this... but I'm so proud of you.

I've always been so proud of you.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

apology

Have you ever did something really wrong and felt extremely guilty about it?

And then the person you pissed off can actually smile at you and still joke about it?

And then all you could see from them is that forgiving, loving smile and a simple "it's okay"?

Surreal, really.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

knowing that

It's comforting to know that there's someone who cares for you.

Being in the middle of this unknown circle, I honestly feel safe knowing that there's still someone who would look after me.

I'm just this innocent, scared girl who seeks for shelter in every new places she goes to.

I've never asked for excessive attention though I love being taken care of.

It's obvious. It's just too obvious. Anyone around can actually see that.

I would be lying if I said I don't want to feel like I'm this... this somebody.

However, this attention I'm receiving... it confuses me.

:( + :) = :|

O Allah... I seek Your forgiveness.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

the truth

Mula-mula rasa susah.

Rasa banyak sangat halangan.

Yang lagi sedih, akhirnya tak dapat apa-apa jawapan.

Yang lagi double sedih, wajah-wajah itu yang penuh pengharapan.

Susah.

Tapi yang kali ni rasa dipermudahkan sejak mula.

Setiap satu urusan memang lancar sejak dari detik pertama.

Yang syukurnya, rasa seronok dan suka.

Semuanya terasa indah, seakan-akan penantian selama ini telah diberikan penghargaan dari Yang Paling Tinggi di atas sana.

Sehinggalah, sampailah, hadirlah satu saat itu.

Satu saat yang semua perkara sebenar diceritakan.

Di sini terduduk, termenung sendiri.

Ada rasa keliru, ada rasa gelisah.

Rasa satu beban berat menghempap di ubun-ubun kepala.

Impian semua manusia mahu dijulang dan diangkat manusia lain.

Harapan semua manusia mahu dihargai dan dipuji manusia lain.

Tetapi apa gunanya julang tinggi itu kalau diri sendiri tahu tidak mampu untuk menggalas satu tanggungjawab yang jauh lebih besar?

Apa gunanya puji dan puja itu seandainya diri sendiri sedar langit itu sebenarnya nun di atas sana, tidak tergapai dek tangan?

Di sini masih terduduk, berfikir sendiri.

Terkeliru apakah ini nikmat kesenangan atau ujian di sebalik kesenangan.