overrated

i'm at this peak where i couldn't see any flaws

the world surrounding me would fade away when i look into those eyes

and i could still feel the presence lingers around me

people say it's overrated

but not for me, not at this point

not anymore

meanwhile

Most people think that I'm unhappy...
but I'm not.
I just appreciate silence in a world that never stops talking.

- from some post in 9gag

one minute late

You know what? At this stage, it might be too late to back off.

But no worries.

As long as you're here, and as long as I'm here... I'll be waiting.

It's a promise.

your last goodbye was yours alone

No matter how macho I try to be, I'm still the emotional and sensitive one at the end of the day.

And you're the true macho person that I can't compare myself with.

I still remember revealing too much of my petty problems to you, and I don't remember the last time you complaining about your life, especially your studies.

I guess it's just nature. It's as simple as that. I complained and you nodded. I was emotional and you were not. I never felt satisfied with what I had and you were trying to enjoy your life as much as you can.

But I guess it was when it used to be, and things don't seem to be the same no more.

I don't know, I guess it just happened. We don't talk to each other anymore, we are becoming too preoccupied with our own matters. We don't have time for one another.

I did try putting a bit of effort in trying to digest the whole thing, but normally it'd be left hanging before I could say anything about it. So I keep accumulating the doubts and assuming things... and lately I'm becoming more and more unsure of what I should do or how I should feel.

Should I wait, should I stop, should I ask, should I move on, should I say something about it... I don't know. I have no idea.

I always feel like even if I try to look at it, you don't bother to do the same.

I don't know if it's still mutual, if you really meant what you said to me... that is, if you still remember what you said to me.

Well, for me, I admit it gets a little cloudy at times... but I can never deny the fact that it's still there.

No matter how little or tiny it is, it's still there. I know I can tell myself a lot of lies, but it keeps coming back to me.

Your words haunt me and my expectations are eating me from the inside, at this very moment.

I've been forcing myself not to talk about it, not to think about it, not to bother about it...

...but I guess the Force is stronger with you.

this is so... face-trating

back then there was friendster.

and now, woohoo, baru realise friendster is like 6 to 7 years ago.

and today friendster doesn't even exist anymore.

omaigad i am old.

well, i wouldn't have to worry about it... not until another one and a half year, or maybe another two years.

sometimes i hate having nothing to do because i'll be thinking about it.

again and again.

i'm a normal...... person, you know. i do worry sometimes.

sigh.

i feel like a high school girl again, having a crush on that handsome popular prefect in my class.

---

just finished watching The Social Network (ye aku memang ketinggalan zaman).

ugh cerita yang sungguh frustrating... hence the first word that came across my mind for the title of this post.

Kalau ada sumur di ladang...

A Beautiful Life movie poster :)

Aku rasa peringkat umur macam aku ni tak boleh avoid la dari fikir soal bercinta dan kahwin.

Oops. Ambik kau. Kan aku dah berterus terang. Haha.

Ala... standard la kan. Jangan kata kau tak pernah fikir pasal benda ni. Semua orang pernah kot. Tak kisah la kau straight ke, even kau gay pun (na'uzubillah), kau mesti ada perasaan nak berpasangan kan?

Kalau tak pernah, it's either kau innocent atau kau adalah malaikat. :)

So macam ni la ye. Aku taknak guna ayat klise yang orang selalu guna, so aku guna ayat aku la:

Jodoh pertemuan di tangan Tuhan.

Eh? Itu bukan ayat biasa ke? Hahaha.

Ok ok macam ni...

Tak kira la macam mana kau bercinta dengan orang tu pun,
macam mana sayang kau kat dia pun,
macam mana dia pun sayang kau jugak,
macam mana korang cuba elak dari bergaduh ke, hasutan orang (dan bukan orang) ke,
macam mana mak ayah korang dah restu hubungan korang ke,
macam mana korang dah planning nak kahwin ke,
macam mana lelaki tu dah cakap nak masuk meminang kau ke (uhuk uhuk),

percayalah satu benda ni:

KALAU ALLAH KATA KORANG TAKKAN END UP TOGETHER, MAKA KORANG TAKKAN END UP TOGETHER.

(Aku cakap senang la kan, bukan aku yang rasa.)

Kalau korang yang dah kahwin tu, cerita lain la. Ni bagi yang belum kahwin la ni.

Dude, memang la kena ada usaha nak cari pasangan nak kahwin. Tapi kena begin with the end in mind la. Tanam sikit perasaan "what-if" tu. Selagi kau belum nikah, selagi tu la hubungan kau dengan pasangan kau tak menjanjikan apa-apa.

Sakit tau putus cinta. So jangan janji macam-macam masa bercinta kalau kau tak nampak future kau lagi.

Okay? OKAY?

OK FIRST TIME CAKAP PASAL KAHWIN DEKAT BLOG NI. Don't blame me, I'm already 22 anddd... never mind.

PS: Pos ni ditulis bersebab ye, bukan sebab aku desperate nak kahwin :O

Under the Surface

it's come to the point where I wonder

if I could ever be luckier

when suddenly I'm back at the core


lend me your ears, I would like to confess:

I'm doubting that you can be real


say that it's true

I know that I want to believe you

but somehow

silence speaks louder than words

Marit Larsen;
some bits from "Under the Surface"

The day the work is done

Kadang-kadang kan (dan most of the time) bila kau tengah rasa sensitif tu, bukan sebab kau saje-saje dan sengaja nak salahkan hormones imbalance kau sebagai seorang perempuan.

Tapi benda tu, kau tak boleh tolong (you can't help it). Bila dah sampai masa kau rasa senang terasa (rasa senang terasa? o_O), kau memang akan senang terasa no matter how much you want to control it.

Bukan PMS jela... aku rasa orang meningkat remaja ke, orang mengandung ke, orang lepas bersalin ke, orang nak menopaus ke, etc etc ke (yang semuanya of course la perempuan), pun ada time di mana mereka akan sangat dan sangatlah sensitif.

I mean, benda tu kau boleh control sama ada kau lepaskan kat orang atau tak jela. Dalam kes RASA sensitif tu, memang confirm ada la.

Ye aku memang suka salahkan ketidakseimbangan hormon dalam badan aku. Sebab tu juga penyebab jerawat yang bermaharajalela di muka akuuu.

Salah seekor "lalat" yang Prof bagi. Cuba teka makhluk apa ada 8 kaki?

Aku tak percaya aku sedih sebab KELAS DAH HABIS. Oleh itu aku memang perlu salahkan ketidakseimbangan hormon di dalam tubuh.

Berat mulut

Pernah tak korang rasa dihargai bila seseorang cakap terima kasih kat korang, even untuk benda kecik?

Dan apatah lagi benda besar?

Most people won't ask you to thank them.

And because they won't, it becomes the reason why you have to.

I've met a lot of people yang tak jadikan berterima kasih sebagai rutin.

Believe it or not, saying thank you can make people feel happy.

Tahu tak menggembirakan orang lain tu adalah satu pahala?

Bukan susah pun. Two little words that can brighten up someone's face.

Sekurang-kurangnya they will know you appreciate them.

Ah well. Aku pun selalu lupa nak cakap terima kasih.

Terima kasih pada Tuhan.

Boys Avenue

Kenapa aku selalu rasa berkawan dengan lelaki
lebih senang berbanding berkawan dengan perempuan?

Adakah aku tak normal?

Atau adakah kerana sikap semulajadi aku
yang tak pandai bermanja dengan kawan perempuan?

-_______-"

Boyce Avenue

PS: Walaupun aku rasa adik dia sangat sangat sangattt comel (yang aku tak tahu pun nama haha), tapi Alejandro is still my favourite in the group because he's the lead singer. I always have a soft spot for the lead singers... lol.