. eightletters .: Bop Bop Baby

Assalamualaikum.

When I'm taking a break from school, I never meant to take a break from blogging as well... well, not that I write that much anyways. But you know, it's kinda normal to feel lazy to think about anything while you're having a couple of months off... at least for me that's the way it is.

I don't have that much to complain for this post anyway. I've started counting the days down and it's such an awful feeling... sometimes I don't even want to look at the calendars anymore. Lol. I haven't yet met some of the people that I dread to see when I was there...

Well, I have an excuse because I spend most of my time in Kuantan. The previous week I spent the whole week in KL but I only managed to meet some of my friends, not all of them. I was half dead in the bed for a couple of days because of the food poisoning... it was horrible. It was that bad I even got fever for a few days... couldn't even smell any food, couldn't got out of bed, couldn't eat anything... and the diarrhoea was killing me... it was the worst food poisoning ever. Everything seemed to get flushed out of my stomach, I thought I'd lost a few kgs. Takpe la sakit tu kifarah dosa kan...

Nevertheless I went out with two of my old friends once I was feeling a bit better... and they made my day. I missed those good old days, those days where we would say childish things to each other, sulk for a few days, listen to a lot of Evanescence and Avril, be labeled nerds,... etc etc. Back then we were just a bunch of immature kids but now the friendship is stronger than ever. Like one of them said we might not see or hear news about each other for weeks, sometimes months, sometimes even a year or so... but when we meet I realise that they're the people that can say things to me and really mean them. They're never fake. I might sound a bit biased because we don't often spend time with one another. Ok, I can't deny that, but I grew up with them. I was like 13 to 15 when I was the closest with them, I mean that was kinda the transition from childhood to adolescence... so we kinda know each other very well, we knew our pasts, we are in each others' histories and present...

And this doesn't mean I totally forget my other friends. I mean I'm sure you (the reader) have your own childhood friends who you grew up with...

Ok now I'm really getting sentimental. Let's get on with the real topic anyway.

Babies. Do you like them? Well, babies never really attract me that much. For me they're just, you know... small humans making a lot of noises, demanding for anything they could without having to care anything at all...

Don't blame me. My family from my mom's side is really huge. She has 14 siblings, 12 are married, and each partners has at least four to five kids. And my mom's only the fourth child in the family. So you can imagine how big my family is, and how my grandmom's house turns into a child nursery every Hari Raya... I have so many cousins, like more than 50, and I only meet them like once a year. Sometimes I could hardly recognise some of them... sometimes I don't even know whether they're really my cousins, or just some saudara-mara belah mana ntah punya anak...

So babies don't fascinate me that much.

.until my own brother gets his own daughter last 9 July.

Yes, I've seen too many babies in my life... but none of them kinda relates directly to me. And it was such a miracle to have someone so small as your niece.

Subhanallah.

I haven't even met her yet (she was in the newborn ICU for some days). I've only seen pics of her. I remember on 10 July when my parents were on their ways from Kuantan to KL (I was in KL at that time just so you know), my mom had sent me an MMS.

I thought that MMS was just... you know, some messages that my mom gave. Because a few minutes earlier I was SMS-ing her about something else. When I opened up the MMS she gave, I felt as if the world around me had stopped moving.

There was a photo of her.

I... I didn't know what to say really. She had my brother's Chinese eyes, and she had a perfect blend of her mom's face, too. Her mouth was kinda like half opened, she looked so innocent, so pure, so... beautiful. I was too mesmerized by her beauty I didnt't realise I had tears in my eyes!

I mean, of course I was excited 9 months ago when I knew my brother's gonna be a daddy (still can't believe it though), and I'd even bought a "This is my first Wisconsin t-shirt" baby t-shirt for her... but I didn't have any idea I would feel this way.

Awww I can get all teary just thinking about her.

Because it made me realise my parents must've been feeling the same when I was born 21 years ago. (I'm the first daughter though I'm the third child)

Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku dan dosa kedua ibu bapaku, serta sayangilah mereka sebagaimana mereka menyayangi aku sejak kecil...